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I Was a Transgender Woman

first_imgPublic Discourse 1 April 2015It was a pivotal scene. A mom was brushing a boy’s long hair, the boy slowly turned his head to look at her. In a tentative voice, he asked, “Would you love me if I were a boy?” The mom was raising her boy to become a trans-girl.In that split second, I was transported back to my childhood. I remembered my grandmother standing over me, guiding me, dressing me in a purple chiffon dress. The boy in that glowing documentary about parents raising transgender kids dared to voice a question I always wanted to ask. Why didn’t she love me the way I was?I am haunted by that boy and his question. What will the trans-kids of 2015 be like sixty years from now? Documentaries and news stories only give us a snapshot in time. They are edited to romanticize and normalize the notion of changing genders and to convince us that enlightened parents should help their children realize their dreams of being the opposite gender.I want to tell you my story. I want you to have the opportunity to see the life of a trans-kid, not in a polished television special, but across more than seven decades of life, with all of its confusion, pain, and redemption.The Trans-KidIt wasn’t my mother but my grandmother who clothed me in a purple chiffon dress she made for me. That dress set in motion a life filled with gender dysphoria, sexual abuse, alcohol and drug abuse, and finally, an unnecessary gender reassignment surgery. My life was ripped apart by a trusted adult who enjoyed dressing me as a girl.My mom and dad didn’t have any idea that when they dropped their son off for a weekend at Grandma’s that she was dressing their boy in girls’ clothes. Grandma told me it was our little secret. My grandmother withheld affirmations of me as a boy, but she lavished delighted praise upon me when I was dressed as a girl. Feelings of euphoria swept over me with her praise, followed later by depression and insecurity about being a boy. Her actions planted the idea in me that I was born in the wrong body. She nourished and encouraged the idea, and over time it took on a life of its own.Walt Heyer is an author and public speaker with a passion to help others who regret gender change. Through his website, SexChangeRegret.com, and his blog, WaltHeyer.com, Heyer raises public awareness about the incidence of regret and the tragic consequences suffered as a result. Heyer’s story can be read in novel form in Kid Dakota and The Secret at Grandma’s House and in his autobiography, A Transgender’s Faith. Heyer’s other books include Paper Genders and Gender, Lies and Suicide.http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/04/14688/last_img read more

Arsenal v Chelsea – Ex-striker warns Gunners stars: ‘Don’t get involved with Diego Costa!’

first_imgFormer Arsenal striker Alan Smith has told Gunners stars ‘not to get involved’ with Chelsea bad boy striker Diego Costa as the Premier League giants prepare for their Super Sunday clash.The previous meeting between the clubs hit the headlines after the Spanish striker tussled with a number of Arsenal players, with defender Gabriel Paulista sent off for his part in the scrap.The struggling top flight champions recorded a rare victory in that game, while they have lost just twice in 11 visits to the Emirates Stadium.But with 19 points currently separating the rivals in the top flight table, league leaders Arsenal have a chance to end their hoodoo with a victory at the weekend, and Smith has urged Arsene Wenger’s players to keep their heads when they face the troublesome Costa.Speaking on the Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast, plunderer-turned-pundit Smith said: “Costa was key at Stamford Bridge, when Gabriel got sucked into that spat.“He was a bit naïve to get sent off in that game, but I’m sure Arsene Wenger will talk with his defenders about Costa and just say, ‘don’t get involved, just concentrate on your game’.“Diego Costa absolutely loves winding players up. He thrives of it and he does a bit too much now, I think it detracts from his game.“But the Arsenal boys do not want to be getting involved in that on Sunday.”last_img read more